Explosive Cookie Dough

Published on 21 December 2024 at 22:41

Happy holidays everyone!!!!! 'Tis the time of forgetting to preheat the oven and wondering if the dough is too gooey. Sometimes baking mistakes are small—like when all the berries in a pie sink to the bottom—and sometimes they are 3 cups (instead of 3 tablespoons) of oil in cupcakes. Or putting the plastic frosting dispenser in the microwave (yes, it does melt).

 

Proof  of competency: my neighbor gifted me a personalized chef's hat and apron!

 

This leads us to the exploding cookies of today.

 

A jar of teff—a grain somewhat similar to quinoa—has been sitting in our kitchen for some time, so I decided to make teff cookies. Turns out, my baking style is far less/more scientific than it ought to be. You'll see what I mean.

 

I put teff, with all the other approximations of the main ingredients, in a blender. To thicken up the dough, I added chickpea flour (that was, unfortunately, “best by August 2022”), and added cocoa powder to cover up the taste.

 

Proof of a lack of competency: see image above.

 

Anyway, I figured any good cookie should include some baking powder and baking soda, so I popped those in too. 

 

Note: Somewhere along the line, I was looking at a fermented ginger recipe, confused them, and ended up putting apple cider vinegar in the cookie dough instead.

 

Writing this all down, I’m actually questioning my sanity.

 

The following events:

  1. Blend the ingredients.
  2. Struggle to open the blender. 
  3. The blender starts releasing air, kinda like a balloon with a whole in it.
  4. It. Starts. BUBBLING OUT THE TOP WHERE IT SHOULD NOT BUBBLE.

Hint: That top left black rectangle is not supposed to bubble.

 

5. "¡¡¡POP!!!"

 

In the blink of an eye, the fizzy cookie dough is on the wall, the counter, the water filter, the salt shaker, the bread holder thingamajig, etc. Everywhere. For a second I stand, stunned—absorbing the aftermath of a cookie recipe, a blender, and me—before collapsing over the sink in near-hysterical laughter.

 

Anyone who has seen the classic experiment in elementary schools may understand what happened; baking soda + vinegar = volcano.

 

This is why I almost never baked/cooked on my own when staying with host-families. “Anything can explode given the chance.” — my wise friend, Sue. Note: I provide the chances.

 

I clean up, dump what was left of the toxic looking sludge in a baking pan (my mom said it looked like cow poop—not inaccurate), and stick it in the oven. 15 minutes later, I pick out a piece, terrified, and taste the abomination. 

 

At that moment, I was confused. Shocked. Concerned. Why on earth—HOW ON EARTH—was it not only edible, but kinda GOOD?!?!?!?! 

 

We couldn’t stop eating them. 

 

I dubbed them lava cookies: a high-protein, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-made-again dessert only describable as ultra-fluffy chocolate-ginger goodness. Bonus: they were just as soft & puffy after they cooled down!

 

Wondering why they were shiny? Yeah, me too. Also, say hi to my dog, Elsie.

 

So, can you top my baking fail/success?

 

Thank you for reading, and don’t be scared to stray from the recipe! ❤

 

 

P.S. LET IT BE KNOWN: my success-to-failure rate has vastly improved over time. 

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